Is it true that most women like alpha males?

Because when you’ve pissed off all the mightier and kinder members of your huge, hairy, burly and exceptionally athletic tribe, they will KILL YOU if you try to sleep in their midst. Easy-peasy.

Women know all this. DUH.

Now we’re doing the mating arena dance right and proper, Holmes.

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…often simply because they (yes: “they,” here: the women) are pretty, to be sure! Yet pretty early-on in their explorations of life, the universe and everything. These innocent ladies do often feel an unspoken or fearsome attraction to:

The “Bad Boy Mystique”: A Lot Of Wimpy-as Butt-Hurt Weenie Whiners Who Self-Identify as “Alpha Males.”

It was pretty obvious, OK? “Most pathetic Australian” is DOPE.

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Hang on there, “hoss.” I should put that in a more omega way. Fitting my secret, unused Quora credential: Quora’s One True Dewy-Eyed Omega Bud, Dude

A real team sport. We humans love it, and always have. Don’t worry!

The whole point of numbers is strength IN numbers. COUNT ON IT. Can’t you count? The whole pack, pod, family, tribe, clan kin and kith group is IN ON IT when an antisocial incompetent tries to make muscle the big rude ruthless rule.

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Typical.

Only humans, and again: typically the male of the species, are socioculturally maladaptive and maladapted enough to think the bully is ever going to win.

Only humans, typically and stereotypically MALE, are ever socially and emotionally incompetent enough to believe lying, cheating, tricking, “manipulation,” self-defeating exhibitions of bared teeth and homoerotically charged chest-thumping are “attractive to babes.”

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The whole mess of us. The whole gaggle, if we’re talking wild geese. We aren’t.

In the “Downy South.”

Not the oldest, unless still strong enough to inspire faith.

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It’s proven again and again: the whole TEAM WORKS, and that team is damn sure not going to tolerate the unfit leader. In mammals? Cruelty is unfitness. Cruelty is needless infliction of injury and pain, just to “show others” how “tough.”

That’s the only part of this answer that kidded.

The real band leader is typically a male, in many but far from all primate tribes.

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Better:

Way more effective techniques in play since mob rule got the clue and hired jackbooted door-kicking enforcers, backed up HARD by so-called “Judges” in fruity, powdered wigs (some jurisdictions) and full-body batman cloaks to do the necessary.

It’s what pack mentality is for. Wild stuff, but nothing like weird! The whole pack (whatever you want to call it!) is going to tear that socially, sexually, compassionless and defective WEAK ASS “BAD BOY” apart like a wild dog hunt, in the canine version.

What would you do if you were lost at sea in the Florida Keys?

Overall.

Bottom line?

**But not the more desirable “babes.”

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In real life as in nature: self-identified “alpha males” who can’t immediately and thereafter PROVE their social-emotional savvy in canny and uncanny KIND WAYS get spurned, shunned and shit-canned. In some countries? Even caned. Now that’s a little out of line, to me.

Yet that last part’s minor. Because trust it: with primates? If the dumbass big full-grown he-male does get out of line?

That look right there.

Gun owners, imagine if an attacker comes to your home and takes your gun to use against you before you had the chance to pick it up. Would you regret owning a gun?

Most women young or older, or yet older still, would if interested in “males” at all, DEFINITELY be interested in the real, mammalian version of pack or “band” leader.

Some women, particularly when they’re not yet wise to the risk presented by hysterically hormonal males way more jacked on adrenaline testosterone woes than any real muscle, flash-react muscle-memory or “killer male intuition,”

Some women, often too young for some purposes, too old for others (like time-wasting further degrees of school, for instance?) will like the idea of guys who think they’re alpha males—hold up. Stop it.

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Self-identify.

*Big note: “mates” here in only the most pathetic asexual Australian sense: “FRIEND ZONED” MATES. Natural exception, though:

Not a problem! Honor it! You pretty much know what you’re getting there, chum, with the self-identification as “Alpha.”

Sheer strength and speed exerted over the longest most stamina-laden spurt of time top male athletes can manage wins BROS** AT BEST! And hell yeah! Some of the best bros and sisses can be “won” by such vain, pointless displays of raw, spunky sweat-work and sporty doings.

Well, pride is the primary ego problem with males. Typical. Sorry, “Lust” fans! Pride takes the top spot every time! The overproud, undertalented, weak-as testosterone-adrenaline overdose junky’s always WAY more sinning against others than he’d ever get “sinned up on” by desired mates.

That’s just another way of saying: the whole pack is in on it. Who the hell hired the help to do THAT kind of domestic buttinsky chore? Uh…we did. We the living did. The whole pack’s On Our Side, and only the doomed losers of the “Self-Identified Alpha” anti-squad don’t “get” any. Eventually: they get creamed. Gross.

Most of them probably know way better than any “bona fide” members of the he-male woman-haters club do. They’ve had to know it. They’re immersed in it like some disgusting “hot tub culture” that’s never verifiably been cleansed, practically their whole lives. Gross.

They’re rejected by the whole extended family, in the typical great ape version. Outcast and re-outcast, every dim-dang time they try coming back in bringing that butt-hurt pouty stink-eye growl back in to spoil the day in paradise. Why would anyone think a big, extended family’s going to tolerate some would be large-livin’ rape-murder pervert? Or the animal equivalent, by whatever language that species gets its eat, mate and shit off.

Warning: even a perfect system, defined by humans and designed to perfect ideals, doesn’t exist in reality. You did know that, if you even thought about it twice. In any realistic or sane way, champ.

That’s the important part.

I don’t care which “team” you “bat” for, or what your orientation or persuasion is vis-a-vis “WHO IS QUALIFIED AS A BABE?” Any amount of your confusion on that score just clears you off the field, far as I’m concerning. Go to! Go for it, “homely”!

The get the boot. Exiled to the maniac loser fringe. Reduced to only their own like-minded poor company.

Yeah.

Just a real dope, rad thing to put out there, these days. Everyone knows Aussie Rules. Generally, I mean.

The Tiger, Male Or Female! Or any other similarly-large, largely asocial, highly-territorial monster, red in tooth and claw. Touchy stuff, ranging through such beings’ turf. Bring a slow friend!

So do most women who’ve had to actually deal with a he-twerp like that over any disgusting stretch of time.

Check it:

Honestly? That’s why dumb males who can’t hack it have to go way off in the woods, far from any but their own vile company, best bros and proven co-maladaptive “mates.”* Staying was not allowed to be an option for them. The team would not stand for their MALE BULL.

Destroying or driving away that social and emotional defective is what the whole pack loves to be in on. It’s what “pack mentality” IS.

Now, what used to be the natural rule is simply the very obvious law!

THEN IT’S ON. Set upon! Injured, mained, whatever it takes. Hired help does the business these days.

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Is it true that most women like alpha males?

But this whole fang-baring, chest-thumping displays of impotence and rage “male-on-male” way-too sexually-rooted “dominance” display wins out in no crowd whatsoever.

The whole pod’s in on it, in the case of rouge-eyed wannabe alpha whales.

The whole pride’s going to get into it, in the homo sapiens sapiens version.

DEFINITELY not the biggest, fastest, hardest or strongest, except that he’s also the one who spends most of his time—not “showing he cares,”—actually CARING FOR his extended family unit! Grooming females and males alike! Bearing gifts of food around. Making sure no dumb, too-young, too-full of self and come-on aggression EMOTIONALLY IMPOTENT, INCOMPETENT “He-Males” get out of line.

Not even for a day does that happen in nature.

“Band of gorillas” is apparently one of the “official” collective plural nouns. OK. Run with it then! It’s the mammalian way! Downstream to mate, upstream to spawn! Follow the big bear’s example. You can stand on a rock with fish flying at you all day, then. Crack open a few beers, hang out with that “special someone”?

If they try to “force back in,” show their “dominance” that way?

No body-shame jokes please. It’s unnatural to act so foul with one’s real or prospective mates around. Oh, and by the way? I was kidding way up there, with the “most pathetic Australian” sense. Of “mate.” I kind of love that sense of “mate,” but be honest: there’s one far finer, far better, far wilder sense yet of “mate.”

Not to any babe who’s actually had to deal with that Big Self-Alpha Baby.